Throwing ideas out there : Origin Story

 So it's been years (Now is Sept 2022) since i looked up this blog and revisited it, have not done much have not mused over ideas, have not put up content over ideals that i champion...err, what do i even champion? but I've grown older now and have wondered what can i do with my life, what can i give or serve society with, people i mean. How do i serve people, ok so I'm a Christian, i have had the opportunity to hear out an listen about this wonderful GOD, that loves me and forgives me and has planted me into his family. 

A bit of a back story is, I've heard those bible stories i have listened to since form 2 (at 14 years old) joining a group of friends holding a small youngsters chapel in Penang Free School, me being the dumb and naïve guy , thought it was a storytelling thing where we just listen to stories of golden yore, of battles and kings and some cool ancient stuff I'm getting into. I enjoyed the company, prayed for exams, and yes even prayed if some cute girl i knew would like me and that was it, wasn't a Christian, did not even know what it meant to be a Christian.

But i had some cool friends Like Ung Eng Poh, Kau Nern Hong, Edwin Tan join that group, they were reading these stories from the bible, and us being nerds, just enjoyed the stories i suppose and went our way in life. Highschool ,mah, what do you think? chase pretty girls, study hard and do goofy things.

I kind of accepted Christ somewhere at the age of 16 (circa 1999) and went about it as if something might have changed in me, yeah Exams, the SPM (Malaysian School Leaving Certificate - to the international readers) i didn't really prepare... No, i only studied 7 months into the dead line, with desperation minus the vigor of an actually serious student, i have absolutely no clue how i scored for it towards the end for what i studied for but regretted that i didn't seriously work at it when i had the opportunity, i mean A1 in Chemistry , Physics and Math, A2 in Additional Math, Mr.Boo's tuition really paid off, GOD bless him!

Cause those subjects were in the deep RED during form 4 and up to the end of form 5.

But in that year, it was my parents separation that got to me, the stiff competitiveness of us boys in that school albeit i got a lot of friends, there, it's the hard things in life that school doesn't prepare you for. LIFE.

Yes i was crying towards the end of school by myself, how would i handle LIFE, with my Dad with someone new and mum in tears too. We didn't own a home, so we moved quite a lot, like 5 homes up to the time I'm leaving school. i dint get into university or Get that coveted spot in STPM, so i can pursue my childhood ambition, of getting to Harvard University....Kidding, i haven't a clue what i wanted to do with my life , left alone... what am i going to do in a nerdy place with nerdy people.

I went to college, did NSWHSC, thinking we had loads of cash to go to Australia, -again dumb and naïve, wasted that. Had lecturers tell me , i isn't gonna cut it as an Engineer, (cause I'm too darn, incompetent)(I had 70.95UAI/100UAI ,Mr. Chong-My physics , 4units math and 3 units math lecturer), was chasing girls, thinking i want to find love, maybe things would change if i found love and some one loved me. Got into some bad company- some dude i wish i never met, doing stupid things i wish i never did. Family issues and some financial hardship later. I did the unthinkable.(no, i didn't turn Gay! as the reader might have anticipated.) I got into a fight in college, and Got my arse wooped so bad, 5 guys to 1(me with my ninchaku) sounds like one of those movies, but nah...not Bollywood.

A few weeks later, (i think after my bruised eye recovered.)

I was suicidal by then, and cried out to GOD, that i asked GOD 3 questions, I'm trying so hard to listen and obey. ;-( , Why is all this happening to me? 

1.GOD, do you even know what I'm Going through? Do you even have a plan to prosper me?(i had so many things happening, crying out family issues and I'm the eldest, i shouldn't be in this situation.) in the middle of the college field, looking up at the sky and out of earshot from the people nearby.

2.Does he know me and my family, does he even care? - I really wondered if God was real, are you, "insert other gods names here', are you Jesus? i know Jesus is love, please reveal yourself to me , if not i will commit suicide." (being dumb and naïve here~ but do call me at +60163511154 Whatsapp, if you need to talk about it. I been there.)

3. Does he even know what the people are saying behind my back? I had a good reputation in school, i ruined it. After that fight, and what the lecturers thought of me or what this girl thinks of me, or what that college community thinks of me?

i was prepared to jump of some where because of the Guilt and Shame of the things i was doing, failing at life, exam pressure, relationship issues, family issues, finances, unfulfilled dreams,~etc. etc. you name it, i was at that crux of just issues, i was telling GOD to send someone to speak to me, if not i jump.

I was in need...No God , No Life, What did i believe in, i felt like i had no future or a hope at LIFE ?

Guess what?

2 Weeks later a friend from that church i used to attend comes over(Tan Wei Yen), he sits me down and invites me to church, back to WMCPG, the one i went to when i was 17, i was 19-20 yrs of Age by this time.

He told me his brother came back from the USA, and they are starting of a Ministry to help people. I told him i didnt beleive in God, but in my heart, i wondered if this was my answer to that prayer, "that shouting at the sky and crying out to God, thing i was doing."

Lo and behold.

In that meeting, in the Glad tidings room in WMCPG, an old bulb projector and a few Song sheets, " As the Dear panteth for the Water." "Give them all to Jesus." , " I love you lord and i Lift my voice."

i was floored, i removed my sandals, for it was holy ground. i felt a voice telling me to kneel down as i worshipped. it emanated from the center of my heart, as i got down on my knees and the tears started to flow. The elder brother (Tan Wei Hsin) comes over to a time of ministry, to serve others.

Guess what did i hear.

"Surain, i think GOD says I know what your going through , I know what your family is going through, Yes, he even knows what the people are saying behind your back, God says , I have a plan to prosper you and not to harm you if only , you WILL listen and obey." 

Those 3 questions got answered.

the verse it came from;

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

That Night, i was comforted, i felt a weight lift from my shoulders, It was a peace like i never felt before, I Long for the Presence of this God.

Over the years, i learned about salvation, about the whole creation story, the forces of Good and Evil at play, our enemy is not people , but powers and principalities in high places.

Life is short, we fail, we make mistakes, we loose everything, but bear in mind, even if GOD does not redeem or restore something to you, he is Good, he responds, to you. He is no Magic Genie, but he is the Everlasting, The Creator of the Universe took notice of me. In a nutshell Thats How i came to know of Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour, He has been My Shepherd, even though many times i have failed to be his sheep.... he comes looking for me, he loves me.

He takes notice of you too.

Just seek after him, wherever you find yourself in life. He will draw near to you. Know this,

John 3:16

New Living Translation

16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave[a] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.